with your teeth
i spent a long time feeling uncomfortable in this body before i transitioned. it was clumsy and awkward and didn't fit right or look right or elicit the right reactions. now, though, this body feels like it's really mine, and like something i can wield with power and grace. and i want to see what it's capable of, what it can enjoy and what it can endure and what it can do to and with another body. i want to test the limits of my new flesh. what better way to do that than with rope and leather and chains and teeth?
some of the people most important to me since i started transitioning are fairly open about their own interests in kink, so it was probably inevitable i'd find myself exploring the intersections of pain and pleasure at some point. i'm also a trans woman and dyke and a lot of those people are gay men, but those lines get a little blurrier when a flogger comes out or someone starts talking about leather. the first person who ever flogged me, out on the patio at the gay bar, is a gay trans man, and he still lets me know whenever he's brought his flogger with him on a night out. i've gotten so much advice on where to get good gear, and soon will probably be getting a custom underbust harness made by a friend's go-to leather guy - he's made plenty of bulldog harnesses but this will be his first underbust harness. the way different queer subcommunities intersect and interact can be really beautiful and i think the leather & kink community is a great example of that - i've done and discussed kink with women, men, and enbies, cis and trans.
as you might have guessed from the variety of people i'm doing kinky things with, a lot of this doesn't necessarily lead to or involve what a less kinky person would think of as sex, at least not involving anyone's genitals. in my experience the lines get so blurry and "sex" so hard to define that it kind of all becomes sex instead, but that's beside the point - it's also a really fantastic way to be intimate even when you don't want to use the parts of your body traditionally considered for that. as a trans woman who mostly fucks other trans folks, the benefits of this are not lost on me. some of the best sex i've ever had has had nothing to do with anyone's genitals. if you do want to get the downstairs bits involved, though, there's no better way to turn all of your nerve impulses up to 11 than a little pain.
i've always had a thing for transgressive behavior, too, and that's been a particularly strong impulse in the face of fascism and widespread open bigotry. if they're going to hate me, if they're going to come for me anyway, i'm going to delight in making them uncomfortable at every turn. i'm going to wear a collar while running errands and i'm going to walk my girlfriend around on a leash when we go to the bar and then go outside to flog or get flogged by someone. i finally feel comfortable in my own body and i want to ride this bitch until the wheels fall off and nobody's going to fucking stop me while i'm still breathing.